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CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb? |
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Charismatic: Only 1 Hands are already in the air. |
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Pentecostal: 10 One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness. |
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Presbyterians: None Lights will go on and off at predestined times. |
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Roman Catholic: None Candles only. |
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Baptists: At least 15 One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken. |
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Episcopalians: 3 One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was. |
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Mormons: 5 One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it. |
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Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence. |
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Methodists: Undetermined Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass. |
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Nazarene: 6 One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy |
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Lutherans: None Lutherans don't believe in change. |
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Amish: What's a light bulb? |